so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
