It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
