Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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