I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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