Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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