I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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