I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I puked a lego.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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