Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
