marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
