i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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