so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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