i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
