One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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