Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
