"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
