Cold hands, warm shart.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
