My room smells like vodka and shame
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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