turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
