I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
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