that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
