Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
