Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
