summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
