Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
