i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
