farters have to be the big spoon...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
