Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
