there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Bring me that man meat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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