wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
