I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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