We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
