I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
