i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
