I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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