My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
pray to the hookup gods
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
