Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
