just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
