She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
