When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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