How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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