so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
