so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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