guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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