it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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