covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
