like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
