Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
