So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
