I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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