Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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