i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
