I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
