Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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