it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
