i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
