There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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