Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This is my gift to your gina
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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